Yes, it's been months. Months of not posting, months of problems, months of worries. The last time I posted here I was in the hospital coming home on Easter Sunday. I did return home that Easter Sunday but unfortunately had a few more hospital stays after that. I have now been out of the hospital almost a full month! Yippee! I'm on a roll I guess. You may be wondering as to why if I have been home a month, I haven't gotten back to blogging. Honestly, I can't answer that question as simple as it may sound. I mean I never stopped thinking about my wonderful Mamavation sistas. I have even started tweeting with them once again. I just couldn't get my blogging mojo back. Is it back now? Lord I hope so, but I don't want to promise so bare with me okay? I think the best thing to do it just take things one day at a time. I have always attempted to live my life that way yet I have not always been so successful at it. If you read my last post you already know that I want(ed) to go to nursing school. It has always been my dream yet something has always gotten in the way. Most of the time it's been health related, yet other times I think it stems from my lack of self esteem. The part of me that says "I can't do it, because of my health." That part seems to get in the way a lot as well. Same thing with exercise and being healthy. There are times that I truly can't do it because I'm sick. Then there are other times that the activity looks too daunting and in my head I hear "someone with your health record shouldn't be doing that, you'll get hurt!" and I give up. I am still trying to combat that demon. It is not that I'm weak by any means. Hey, I beat cancer 4X and have Multiple Sclerosis to boot. Gotta be somewhat strong to deal with that on a daily basis, yet I want to be so much more. It is definitely something that I need to work on. I can't give up because it truly means so much to me. Please forgive me if I am rambling a bit....my thoughts are coming fast and furious since I haven't blogged in so long and there is so much that had happened to me physically, emotionally, and mentally in my absence from the blogging world. My hope with this post is to let everyone know that I am working on my health, but I am working on me as well. I want to accomplish so much, to leave some sort of legacy for those that I love. I know it's going to be a roller coaster of a journey, but I have to keep my chin up and keep plugging along. Hopefully the more I post, the more I commit to this blog and getting myself as healthy as I can be, the easier that journey will be. I do know that since I began this blog I have come full circle, right back to the beginning....to that first step. Hopefully I can put the hospital behind me and start on the journey to be the person I truly want to be...someone I can be proud of. Thanks for listening. Love you all, ~Juli XOXOXO
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